i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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