i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize