It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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