I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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