I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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