well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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