STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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