is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize