summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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