note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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