Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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