Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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