Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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