Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize