You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize