Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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