Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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