How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize