is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize