billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
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I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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