dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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