Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
