she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize