I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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