Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
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Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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