We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize