i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize