The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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