and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize