when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize