Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize