Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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