her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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