Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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