Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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