Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
3pm strippers are depressing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize