jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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