she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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