Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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