I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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