My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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