When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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