i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize