Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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