I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize