dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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