Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize