She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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