doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
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You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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