She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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